I'm Tyrannoyed

"Trash that is funny for five minutes if you're with other people. If you're
alone, it's not funny. Those girls will never be the next Gemma Ward. There is no justice in the fashion business."
-Karl Lagerfeld [courtesy of Wikipedia.org]

'Some people over do self-love'
I am an avid watcher of ANTM and have known [not personally] Tyra Banks way before that. Tyra Banks has done a lot for herself and has accomplished a lot more than people of her age. She’s hardworking, beautiful, and she doesn’t want to fit in with “stick-skinny” models. She created America’s Next Top Model which has resulted not only as a successful TV show but also an international phenomenon with numerous countries following her.
can't you just feel the love?

So why can’t I stand her?
Because she’s deeply in love with her self. The Oprah “replacement” maybe went through too many successes. I know her intentions are good but she always ends up making things about herself. ANTM, “I did this in Milan”, “If you can’t do this like me, then you can’t make it”, “I remember when I was eighteen…..” Do you ever remember what you say? WE KNOW, OKAY? And to end her feud with Naomi Campbell? That is not an “Oprah would do this”. That’s a publicity stunt for her own benefit. She did this because Naomi Campbell tried to end her career and of the emotional pain piled up all these years.

Meanwhile on ANTM, she tells the girls that modeling is a tough world. People try to bring you down but it’s not “Top Model” for nothing. All the girls listen, all the judges listen, heck, the world listens. But this little truth applies to everyone except Tyra. So why are you biting Naomi’s butt trying to get her to apologize.
Naomi knows where to aim now.

You could tell that inside Naomi’s mind, she was like, ‘you insecure idiot, I’m remembered as Supermodel/Superangry Naomi Campbell not someone who sits there and listens to all that complaining [Now where’s a telephone I could use?]’. Uh Oh Tyra, looks like someone’s more ‘fierce’ than you.

Another important topic, weight.

'There's no room on the catwalk if you are over a size 2'
It’s hard for a model to promote healthy living because models are known to be stick skinny nowadays. But Tyra tries. Tyra tries to be everybody’s best friend. On her show, she says to her audience that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Then on ANTM, she makes sure her girls fit the profile of perfection.




wait a minute.....doesn't Tyra look like that?

But uh-oh Tyra knows that what she’s doing is wrong, on the recent seasons she starts hiring "plus-size” models. Then after a few cuts, they are eliminated when they could picture better than most of the skinny girls. I bet you they plan this every week on how to lure the fat girl into a hole she can’t get out of. Because Tyra can’t present the catwalk with a plus size right?

'There is no justice in the fashion business'

Then right after she quits modeling, she gets huge herself. Week after week we see Tyra get a little pudgier, a little more pudgier…..till one day somebody decided to capture a picture of her in the ocean.

Lemme tell you that was probably the first time Tyra stopped and looked at herself after her farewell to modeling. And she was as shocked as we were.
Then she went on her show and demanded that all girls who have flesh on them be strong and deal with it, ending her tear-jerking speech with “You can kiss my fat a--”.


Sometimes when I think about this, I feel like a hypocrite too because I’m still in love with ANTM. But believe me I’m trying to either compromise with “no-entertainment Wednesdays” or “I love myself Tyra”.

What’s different about Tyra is that she’ll always be a self-lover. And you know what? She’d make a perfect Oprah. But if that does happen, then screw you daytime television.